25 Reasons to Hate Christmas and Cowboys Read online

  “Shit, Isabel. I didn’t know.”

  I shrugged. “Of course you didn’t.”

  He took his ball cap off and scraped his fingers through his tousled hair. “That guy is a complete jackass.”

  “I know.” I inched closer to him. “I’m so sorry, Johnny. I just completely freaked out when you said those words. It brought it all back and the panic was overwhelming. I was already on my way back when you found me.”

  He looked up, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “You were?”

  “I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you. I do. I love you more than any man I’ve ever loved in my life. Lachlan did me a favor last year when he stood me up. I may hate Christmas, but it brought me to you.”

  Johnny’s hand snaked around the back of my neck, and I closed my eyes. He tugged me closer, and I waited for the familiar feeling of his lips on mine. But when it didn’t come, I opened my eyes. “What’s wrong? Are you still upset with me?”

  “No. But… Shit.” He worried his bottom lip, then raised his head to the heavens. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this,” he murmured. “Again.”

  And then he dropped to one knee.

  My heart stopped.

  He grabbed my hand. “Don’t run. Please. Hear me out. I did this all wrong back home in the woods. That was a desperate boy begging a girl he loved not to leave.” He cleared his throat, and his eyes glistened. “This is a man, asking to love you for the rest of your life.”

  A gasp escaped my chest, and a tear spilled down my cheek.

  “I love you, Isabel,” he continued. “And if you want to get on that plane and fly back to Australia, then I’m coming too. We don’t have to stay here. I’ll follow you to any damn country on Earth if it means I get to keep you. So please. Marry me. Not because it means you get to stay here longer. Marry me, because it means we get to stay together forever.”

  Emotion clogged my throat as I stared down at Johnny’s handsome face. The face I’d grown to love in such a short space of time, but somehow felt more true and real than any of the years I’d been with Lachlan.

  Johnny gazed up at me with such love and adoration that it broke my heart then healed it all in the same second.

  God, I loved him.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “Yes.”

  The most beautiful smile I’d ever seen spread across his face, and he let out a whoop of delight before pushing to his feet and sweeping me off mine. “She said yes!” he hollered, spinning me around.

  The roomful of travelers, including my elderly advisor, cheered, and I laughed as I found Johnny’s lips with mine.

  That kiss held everything I’d ever wanted. And inside that moment, my past evaporated. And a shiny new future appeared.

  18

  Johnny

  Mama must have been sitting by the window for hours, waiting for me to get home, because the minute my truck passed under the signpost to our ranch, I spotted her figure running out from the front porch.

  I turned to Isabel beside me. “Want to have some fun?”

  “Uh, sure?”

  “Duck down. Quick.”

  She gave me a confused look but bent at the middle so her head was lower than the dashboard. “Johnny, why am I hanging out down here by my feet exactly?”

  “Shh!” I pulled the car up and got out just as Mama caught up to me.

  I watched her eyes flit to the seemingly empty passenger side seat of my truck and her face fell. “You didn’t catch her in time.”

  I put on my most serious face. “No. She’s on her way back to Australia. She’s probably going to marry an Irwin now.”

  “Johnny!” Isabel yelled from the passenger seat, her head popping up. “You’re awful! And I think Robert Irwin is a tad too young for me!” She got out of the car and I laughed as Mama’s face changed from one of sadness to shock then excitement. Isabel hugged her, and Mama squeezed her tight before she scowled up at me. “You’re a horrible son, you know?”

  I put my arm around her shoulders and chuckled. “I know. But we have some news that might make me somewhat less of a disappointment.”

  I glanced at Isabel, and she nodded. Mama looked between us, her eyes narrowing with each head tilt. “Well, spit it out.”

  I put my other arm around Isabel. “We’re getting married.”

  Mama’s eyes widened. Then narrowed again. “Are you playing me?”

  Isabel shook her head. “No, he’s not. He asked. I said yes.”

  Tears filled Mama’s eyes, and I prepared myself for her hug. Or to be lectured. I really wasn’t sure which way it would go. But she flew at Isabel instead, wrapping her arms around the woman who would become my wife. “Oh, honey. I’m so glad! Congratulations!”

  “Thank you, Mrs. West,” Isabel said, her voice muffled by my mother’s thick sweaters. She never had taken to calling her Anna, even though Mama had insisted a few times.

  Mama pulled back and tutted. “None of that now. You can call me Mama, now that you’re going to be my daughter. We’re family.”

  Isabel beamed. I could tell she was pleased.

  “Soooo, I’m not going to get a lecture about this all being too quick and us being too young?” I cut in.

  Mama shook her head. “Are you crazy? I knew from the moment you brought her home that this one was special.”

  Pride puffed up my chest. I brushed a stray strand of hair from Isabel’s face and tucked it behind her ear.

  “Yeah. I knew it too.”

  We had a celebratory dinner with Mama and Pop in the main house, and Mama had been so excited that she’d thrust gifts upon each of us, insisting we open them immediately. There were new fishing supplies for Pop, and a pretty sweater for Isabel. Pop and Mama both watched intently as I opened my gift.

  My mouth dropped open when I tore the wrapping off the flat, thin package. I blinked at the paper inside. “A plane ticket to Sydney?”

  Mama shrugged. “We thought Isabel was going to be getting on a plane tomorrow. We wanted you to be able to visit her.”

  “Guess that’s not so necessary now,” Pop said with a smile.

  “I don’t know about that.” I grinned over at Isabel. “Honeymoon?”

  She grinned back, nodding enthusiastically.

  We finished our meals and helped clean up. Isabel hugged my dad, and when I hugged my mother, Mama whispered something in my ear. I drew back in surprise, but she nodded firmly, and I kissed her cheek. “Thank you,” I whispered. “For everything.”

  She shooed us out the door, and within minutes, Isabel and I were back at my place. Our place.

  We barely had the door shut when my mouth found hers. I kissed her hard, claiming her again, and reminding myself that she was mine now, and always would be. I undressed her slowly, each of her layers dropping to the floor, one by one, before I did the same to my own. We crawled beneath the blankets of our bed and found each other in the dark.

  “I love you,” she whispered, her breath misting over my lips.

  My reply wasn’t with words. Instead I showed her how much I loved her by taking my time with her. I kissed and sucked and licked every inch of her, bringing her to the brink of her orgasm each time, before gently lowering her back down to earth, only to build her up again.

  “Johnny,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from her moans. “Please.”

  My cock was hard, and my balls ached with the need to come. I wanted this woman more than I ever had. I couldn’t wait for the day she’d become my wife. For the day she’d carry my children. I couldn’t wait for any of that. But we had time.

  I reached for a condom, but she caught my hand. “I’m on the pill,” she whispered. “Have you gone bare with anyone else?”

  I shook my head. “No, never. You?”

  “No.”

  “Not even that Lachlan dickhead?”

  She smiled softly. “No. Not even with that dickhead.”

  I grinned. “I want to feel you, Isabel. Properly feel you. But only if you want to.” />
  “I want that. I trust you. I want you to trust me.”

  “I do.”

  I rolled her onto her back and moved between her widespread legs. Her fingernails trailed down the skin of my back as I found her core. She shivered. I brushed my lips over hers, then whispered, “I love you.”

  She cried out in pleasure when I slid inside her, and a hiss escaped through my teeth. I stilled, balls deep, bracing myself on my forearms.

  “You okay?” she whispered as I trembled over her.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m too fucking okay. You feel so good, I’m trying to avoid making a fool of myself.”

  She grinned and moved her hips, teasing me.

  I groaned. “One-eyed baby puppies,” I murmured. “Mama and Pop going at it on the couch…”

  She laughed out loud and I did too. I dredged up some self-control and slid in and out of her slowly, loving the feel of her around me with nothing between us. “I daydreamed about this, you know? But I never thought I’d be the one who got to do it. I thought you’d go back to Sydney and marry a prime minster or something.”

  She rolled her eyes, but then kissed me, and eventually, we both came quietly together, staring into each other’s souls, and with whispered words of love on our lips.

  After making love for hours, we fell asleep sometime in the early hours of the morning, our naked limbs still wrapped around each other.

  When the sun rose on Christmas Day, and my room got too light to sleep any longer, I ran my nose up Isabel’s jaw to the spot below her ear that I knew she liked. I kissed her softly. Then whispered, “Are you awake?”

  She snuggled in against me but didn’t open her eyes. “I might be, if you’re going to keep doing that.” Her clear voice told me she’d really been awake for a while.

  “I have something else in mind. Open your eyes.”

  Her gorgeous emerald eyes fluttered open and widened as she took in the ring I held between two fingers.

  “Where did you get that from?” she gasped, sitting up.

  I followed. “It’s my grandmother’s engagement ring. Mama wanted me to give it to you.” I hesitated. “If you don’t like it though, we can go choose something else. Whatever you want.”

  She shook her head rapidly. “No. No. I love it.” She looked into my eyes and held her left hand out. I slid the ring over her knuckle, and she held up her hand, the morning light glinting off the diamond. “It’s perfect,” she breathed, studying it from every angle.

  “Just like you.”

  She shook her head and kissed my mouth, her lips lingering before she pulled away. “Just like us.”

  “Merry Christmas, baby.”

  She threw her arms around my neck and pulled me back to the mattress. “Right back at you.”

  19

  Isabel

  One year later

  Lila stared out the car window at the lightly falling snow. When she turned around, she had a pout on her face that would have given any toddler a run for their money. “Are you really going to get married in this? It’s freezing out there. The only reason we don’t have frostbite right now is because Macy has the heater cranked to overdrive.”

  I glanced out the window at the blanket of white. “It’s beautiful.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “It’s cold.”

  I nudged her with my elbow. “You’ll get used to it. I did. You just need to come visit every winter.”

  “I can’t believe you’re living here full time. You know, I read on the plane that the nearest ocean is thousands of kilometers away.”

  I laughed at her horrified expression. “True. But this town has other appeals.” A brief smile lifted the corners of my mouth. “And I get to marry one of them today.”

  Lila smoothed out a nonexistent wrinkle in the beautiful dress I wore. “Speaking of, shouldn’t he be here by now? Isn’t the bride the one who is supposed to be fashionably late?”

  I shrugged. “He’ll be here. I’m not worried.”

  Lila side-eyed me. “Your room in the apartment is always open if this Johnny cowboy thing doesn’t work out, you know.”

  “Lila!” my mother admonished from the seat on the other side of me. “Don’t even joke about that! Not after…last time.”

  But I laughed. “Don’t stress, Mum. Johnny will be here. And anyway, Lila has a roommate.”

  “Eh. I’d kick him out in a heartbeat. He’s no you.” She winked.

  “Sorry to disappoint, but it’s not going to be necessary.” I took a deep breath and checked my reflection in a tiny compact mirror Lila had brought along. Hair and makeup. Check. White dress. Check. I glanced down at my feet. Ridiculous snow boots beneath my dress. Check. Not exactly the footwear I’d dreamed of getting married in, but that was the price I paid for wanting a Christmas Eve wedding in Wyoming.

  Mum fussed over a loose tendril of hair that had escaped my casual updo.

  I batted her hand away. “Mum, stop.”

  “I can’t. I just want everything to be perfect for you.” She worried her bottom lip and I caught my dad shooting me an anxious glance too.

  I grabbed my mother’s hand. “I know you’re worried. But you don’t need to be. Any minute now, someone will come let us know that he’s here and it’s time to go.”

  Mum’s face was more of a grimace than a smile. “It’s not that we don’t adore Johnny. We do. He’s a lovely young man, and I know he makes you happy. It’s just…did you have to choose Christmas Eve to get married? It has such bad memories. I’m nervous it’s bad luck.”

  I squeezed her fingers. “It’s all going to be fine. Johnny loves this time of year. And we got engaged on Christmas Eve. This day belongs to Johnny as much as it ever belonged to Lachlan. More even. It’s different this time. This time, it’s right. It’s time to make new memories. Replace the old with the new.”

  Mum cast a dubious look at me and I sighed. “It’s going to be fine, Mum. I promise.”

  Despite the Debbie Downers around me, I was floating on air. We’d chosen to have our ceremony at the lookout where Johnny had first attempted his proposal. It was the most beautiful spot on the property, and when we’d started planning our day, it had been the only place we’d considered. There’d be a party back at the town hall afterwards, but I wanted the ceremony to be somewhere beautiful and meaningful. We’d spent a lot of time here once the snow had thawed. We’d sat on picnic blankets beneath a wide blue sky and made love here beneath a galaxy full of stars. It was where I felt closest to him, and where I’d really lost my heart to my Christmas-loving cowboy. I relished every second that ticked by because each one brought me closer to marrying the man I loved.

  In the clearing, just outside where we sat waiting in the car, white chairs had been set up either side of a long red carpet that made the aisle. Guests in their jackets and hats huddled beneath the big portable gas heaters we’d set up the afternoon before.

  Through the crowd of people, a woman pushed through, and excitement lit me up inside. “He must be here! Mama’s on her way over. Let’s go.” I was so impatient to get out of the car I practically shoved Lila out of the door. She shot me a dirty look, but then set to her job of fixing my dress. I waved when Mama reached us, but my smile fell when I took in her expression. Her face was lined with concern.

  I paused. “What’s wrong?”

  She wrung her hands together, her eyes big. “It’s Johnny. He’s not here. We don’t know where he is.”

  “What!” my dad roared.

  “Oh no. Not again,” my mother wailed.

  I hushed them. “Stop it. You’re making a scene. This is just a temporary setback.” I focused in on Mama. “Do you have any idea where he is?”

  She shook her head. “I’m sorry, honey. We’ve been calling him and calling him for the last thirty minutes. He’s not answering.”

  “That son of a bitch,” Dad muttered.

  I shook my head. “It’s fine,” I insisted. “He’ll be here. We just need to wait.
”

  Mum shook her head sadly, which I ignored. I knew exactly what she was thinking. That I had some sort of curse. Or at least, the worst luck with men ever. I could already see her brain ticking over, working out how best to quickly get me out of here and back on a flight to Sydney.

  After a few minutes of standing in the snow, with no sign of Johnny, I was getting cold. I turned to my bridal party. “Come on. We can’t just keep standing here. Let’s move to a heater.” I started moving before anyone could disagree. Calmly, I led the others to the end of the red carpet and walked down it alone, very aware that all eyes were on me. All of the guests went silent. I smiled at them. “Sorry. Keep talking. We’ll be starting soon. Whose great idea was it to get married outside in December anyway, right?”

  A titter of uncomfortable laughter spread through the crowd. I stopped beneath the heater at the top of the aisle and nodded to the celebrant who Johnny and I had met with earlier in the year.

  Fifteen more minutes passed, and Lila sidled up to me, a worried expression on her face. “Sweetie, what do you want to do?”

  “Get married?” Her face was so full of sympathy, it made me laugh. “Lila. He’s going to show. He will. It will all be fine.”

  “He’s thirty minutes late, Is. Nobody has heard from him. Maybe it’s time to call it…”

  Movement on the track caught my eye.

  “I’m here!” Johnny yelled from the back of a galloping horse. “Don’t start without me!”

  A laugh bubbled out of my chest, and collective sighs of relief were breathed around me. I glanced over my shoulder at my parents and Lila and shrugged. “Told you.”

  Johnny jumped off his horse and stormed the red carpet, not bothering to wait for Levi, who was trailing behind on a horse of his own. Johnny swept me into his arms, crushing me to his chest, and dropped his mouth to my ear.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  He pulled back and spoke louder so all the shocked looking guests could hear him too. “Somebody”—he glared at Levi—“lost the rings. I thought we were going to have to get search and rescue out to find them.”